GIRL GONE BAD

I have already established that Bella, my naughty Frenchie is not allowed on the bed.  I should concede that she is allowed but only on a small portion which includes a blanket for her to lay on and only in the late evening when we are watching bad television. She's a really smart dog, so for those that are thinking she doesn't know better, well, that's not going to fly. Bella has now taught herself how to open the bedroom door (who needs opposable thumbs?) When her Mom walked in on her she froze and stopped breathing as if that would work and I wouldn't notice she was on the bed (see Exhibit A. top photo of Frenchie trying to blend in by not breathing). I picked her up and put her on the floor, which by the expression on her face wasn't what she wanted.  Her sister George, my pure white, 3lb dog was successfully camouflaged and had jumped off the bed trying to act like nothing was amiss. Note the messed up hair and the shallow breathing gave her up.  I was not budging even when Bella was giving me the ol' stink eye, she finally gave in like a sullen teenager and accepted her place on the rug.  Not happy mind you. If she was an actual human teenager she would have rolled her eyes and slammed her bedroom door, I'm sure. This takes me to one of my biggest fears, I worry that if I ever procreate my kids won't be better than my dogs (behavior wise). Sure, my dogs are cute, charming, intelligent and really affectionate, but on the flip side they are insubordinate, stubborn and kind of a@!holes sometimes. If I can't get the dog thing right, how am I ever going to raise a child? I don't think my worry is unfounded, I think I should be really worried about this.  My mom likes to tell me that you can't really help it if your kid is an a@!hole, even if you do everything right, they could still turn out less than you expected.  I hope this was not directed at me, because I like to think I was a pretty great kid and am not that bad of an adult. The kind of daughter you would be proud to have. I mean that's what I would like to think.

P.S. These were taken with that yard sale lens I bought for a couple bucks the 28-70 Tokina, it's definitely a better lens to play with when shooting dreamy scenery than shooting naughty dogs with!

Susan (April 13, 2012 at 5:51 PM)  

I SO relate to this post, haha!! Billy pulls the same don't move or breathe stuff...hilarious. Your pups are so cute!

As we are currently expecting twins, we are constantly remarking on how the kids couldn't possibly be any better (in behavior) than Billy...he is amazing. He will always be more quiet, more obedient, and more loving (unconditionally)...we are sure of it! ;)

Miss B. (April 13, 2012 at 7:19 PM)  

I KNEW Billy was perfection! I can't wait to see your babies already and I am sure your babies will be perfect, you and your husband seem very solid and I already know you are one of the nicest people on the interwebs;)

ClaireH –  (April 13, 2012 at 8:59 PM)  

The look on Bella's face says it all! And you will just do swell with kids...trust me.

Amy (April 17, 2012 at 7:36 AM)  

Those faces! I can't even stand it! I've seen the non-breather technique in my cat. Usually, when she wants to crawl in my lap while I'm watching a movie. I'll tell her no so she'll creep up in slow motion. She'll put one paw over my lap and freeze--as if she stays still enough, I'll never know she's there.

I guess we all have our moments . . .

RosyRilli (April 18, 2012 at 12:17 PM)  

Oh no. If I go by this philosophy, my children won't be potty trained until they're seven or eight years old!

Slappin B!tches Since 1982! (April 18, 2012 at 1:25 PM)  

ha ha ha... My cat Shenanigans has somehow figured out how to pop open my bedroom door on the other hand, Unzo McFunzo will just stare at a cracked open door crying until I open it more for him (he isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer). Although neither of my cats will lie on my bed without their brown quilt on the bed, Shenanigans has the propensity to lie with her head on my pillow. Actually now that I think about it she also likes to burrow under the quilt and just sit in a lump on the middle of my bed under the quilt.... hmm I guess she isn't as good as I thought after all.

You will be a fine mother... as long as your kid has pants on 63% or more percent of the time, and you aren't a crazy person who has to test for a baby daddy on Maury, you have a pretty good chance on having a pretty good kid.

Noia de California (April 24, 2012 at 3:50 PM)  

The second picture of Bella's sideways glances is priceless.

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Miss B.